Typing Shortcuts for Dangerous Times

Emoticons During Wartime 
by Tom McNichol

:-)                No new attacks reported today.

:-(                New attack reported today.

=|:-)=          This e-mail is being monitored by Uncle Sam for your protection.

:-x                I’d rather not say in an e-mail that’s being monitored for my protection.

:-w               Our current leader speaks with forked tongue.

*:o)              Our current leader is a bozo.

/:-=(            Our current leader in some ways resembles Adolf Hitler, at least in his
                     disregard for civil liberties during wartime.

:-o                Uh-oh, what was that?

:-@              I hear screaming.

B)                 Now donning protective goggles.

.-)                 Good Sammy Davis, Jr., movie on tonight.

<|-)              Yes, the current conflict resembles Vietnam.

+<:-)            Pope to make appeal for peace.

(:3                No, I am the Walrus.

:(=)              Interesting Jimmy Carter piece in today’s Times.

[:-)               I’m listening to my iPod.

3:-o             Bovine encephalitis attack!

:-)8              Latest George Will column still doesn’t get it.

@:-[–          New Osama bin Laden message released.

8-/               Local chemical attack causing blindness.